The Legend of Scooby
Scooby was a tabbie cat,
The toughest tabbie cat aroun’.
You know where your wimmin’s at
When Wild Bill Scooby comes to town!
I think I see him comin’, dang!
Not alone but with his gang!
Just when I thought that we were rid,
Calamity Opie–Zeke the Kid!
The sheriff knows what fate awaits him.
Three to one, the odds are grim.
The sheriff knows he must be brave,
Or lie a coward in his grave!
He walks into the muddy street,
Extended claws–tall on his feet.
To shade his eyes he moves his hat.
The sheriff’s a big ocicat!
Zeke on left and Opie right,
The Scooby gang’s a fearsome sight!
As they walk their spurs a jingle,
Making all the town-cats tingle!
Trouble comes in threes they say.
The truth in this, we’ll learn today.
Paws cautiously held by each flank,
The gang moves slowly towards the bank.
It’s all just for the takin’ now,
Says Scoob, 10 bags of nip, Meow!
Bags of treats and tuna too!
You guys know just what you must do!
What happened next is in dispute.
Poor Scooby never got the loot.
The muddy street ran red they say,
But Scooby’s gang got clean away!
All you cats take my advice.
Be satisfied with catching mice.
Go find yourself a feline wife,
If you want the purrfect life–
One that never lets you down.
Just don’t take your claws to town.
Don’t take your claws to town.
POSTSCRIPT: Legend has it that the Scooby Gang joined up with Butch and Sundance in Bolivia, and were never seen or heard from again. Their descendants are the peace-loving cats you know today, minding the catio at the Feline Cafe.
Marigold was a steamboat queen,
The purrtiest cat that you’ve ever seen!
With long creamy hair
And those big green eyes,
We’re all in love.
I can tell no lies!
She has a picture in bed,
Hangin’ over the bar.
The sultriest cat in the bay by far.
She runs the gambling tables,
The dice and the wheel,
And it’s not just by chance
That you got a bad deal!
It’s snake eyes you’ll get,
DON’T you know?
Whether Anchorage, Alaska,
or cold Juneau.
She’ll win your money–
Nothing you can do.
Cats, stay away
From her games of sin,
And the green-eyed temptress
Who will lure you in,
With plates of fresh tuna–
Everything is free!
Won’t you sit a while and
Play a little game with me?
BLACK CAT PROWL
Black Cat Prowl
My fur is black.
My eyes are green.
I prowl outside at night unseen,
On silent paws outside the house
Looking for a juicy mouse!
I see a headlight up the road,
And cross the short grass newly mowed
To crouch beneath a blooming rose
And flex the claws between my toes.
My pupils narrow to a slit
Because the garden’s briefly lit
By auto headlights passing by.
I stop to lick my paws and sigh.
My whiskers give a little twitch.
I rush along the nearby ditch!
I’m hungry now; I must go back
And have a little midnight snack
From the food bowl on the floor
Filled with kibbles from the store
Inside the cat-flap near the door.
I’m home and couldn’t ask for more!
The Great Train Robbery
Built in Buffalo in ’98
A steam loco made fur pullin’ freight,
Passengers, mail–I will not quibble–
Car loads full of golden kibble!
The word leaked out that fateful day
Scooby’s Outlaws arrived to play
At the gamblin’ wheel, I’d say.
Calamity Opie grabbed the nail
And spun that wheel ’round with her tail!
She had a tight ferocious grip,
And used her tail just like a whip.
30 Red–she’d not be beaten!
Some folks thinkin’ she be cheatin’.
“Best be moving on now girl.
Don’t give that wheel another twirl.”
Zeke the Kid glared at the crowd
While Opie started growlin’ loud!
Zeke’s long claws began a flexin’
Like an old gunfightin’ Texan.
They all moved slowly to the door
Until they’d gone and seen no more.
Men loaded great big kibble sacks
Into the freight car on the tracks.
The Scooby Gang on silent paws
Climbed up the car’s sides with their claws.
Resting finally on the roof,
They groomed their fur–remained aloof.
Twenty mile they held on tight,
‘Specially when the train turned right!
Scoob decided time for action
When the engine lost it’s traction,
Brakin’ for a paid-off Moose!
“It’s time to cut the caboose loose!”
Brewing coffee warm inside
Was old conductor One-Eyed Clyde.
“Sorry, Clyde! Have a nice ride!”
Opie grinned coquettishly
When the coupler pin pulled free.
“In another mile or so,
We’ll cut the freight car loose and go,
Packing out these bulging sacks
Of golden kibble on our backs.”
The loot was never seen again,
And that is all I know, my friends.
© Feline Café original poems 2013 – 2020