Scooby wanted poster

Scooby’s Outlaws in “The Great Train Robbery”

The Great Train Robbery

Built in Buffalo in ’98
A steam loco made fur pullin’ freight,
Passengers, mail–I will not quibble–
Car loads full of golden kibble!
The word leaked out that fateful day
Scooby’s Outlaws arrived to play
At the gamblin’ wheel, I’d say.
Calamity Opie grabbed the nail
And spun that wheel ’round with her tail!
She had a tight ferocious grip,
And used her tail just like a whip.
30 Red–she’d not be beaten!
Some folks thinkin’ she be cheatin’.
“Best be moving on now girl.
Don’t give that wheel another twirl.”
Zeke the Kid glared at the crowd
While Opie started growlin’ loud!
Zeke’s long claws began a flexin’
Like an old gunfightin’ Texan.
They all moved slowly to the door
Until they’d gone and seen no more.
Men loaded great big kibble sacks
Into the freight car on the tracks.
The Scooby Gang on silent paws
Climbed up the car’s sides with their claws.
Resting finally on the roof,
They groomed their fur–remained aloof.
Twenty mile they held on tight,
‘Specially when the train turned right!
Scoob decided time for action
When the engine lost it’s traction,
Brakin’ for a paid-off Moose!
“It’s time to cut the caboose loose!”
Brewing coffee warm inside
Was old conductor One-Eyed Clyde.
“Sorry, Clyde! Have a nice ride!”
Opie grinned coquettishly
When the coupler pin pulled free.
“In another mile or so,
We’ll cut the freight car loose and go,
Packing out these bulging sacks
Of golden kibble on our backs.”
The loot was never seen again,
And that is all I know, my friends.

Scooby cat wanted poster
Scooby neckerchief

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signature greg
Scoobys Hideout sign

The Legend of Scooby

Scooby was a tabbie cat,

The toughest tabbie cat aroun’.

You know where your wimmin’s at

When Wild Bill Scooby comes to town!

I think I see him comin’, dang!

Not alone but with his gang!

Just when I thought that we were rid,

Calamity Opie–Zeke the Kid!

The sheriff knows what fate awaits him.

Three to one, the odds are grim.

The sheriff knows he must be brave,

Or lie a coward in his grave!

He walks into the muddy street,

Extended claws–tall on his feet.

To shade his eyes he moves his hat.

The sheriff’s a big ocicat!

Zeke on left and Opie right,

The Scooby gang’s a fearsome sight!

As they walk their spurs a jingle,

Making all the town-cats tingle!

Trouble comes in threes they say.

The truth in this, we’ll learn today.

Paws cautiously held by each flank,

The gang moves slowly towards the bank.

It’s all just for the takin’ now,

Says Scoob, 10 bags of nip, Meow!

Bags of treats and tuna too!

You guys know just what you must do!

What happened next is in dispute.

Poor Scooby never got the loot.

The muddy street ran red they say,

But Scooby’s gang got clean away!

All you cats take my advice.

Be satisfied with catching mice.

Go find yourself a feline wife,

If you want the purrfect life–

One that never lets you down.

Just don’t take your claws to town.

Don’t take your claws to town.

Scooby wanted poster with lantern

POSTSCRIPT: Legend has it that the Scooby Gang joined up with Butch and Sundance in Bolivia, and were never seen or heard from again. Their descendants are the peace-loving cats you know today, minding the catio at the Feline Cafe.