Scooby was a tabbie cat,
The toughest tabbie cat aroun’.
You know where your wimmin’s at
When Wild Bill Scooby comes to town!
I think I see him comin’, dang!
Not alone but with his gang!
Just when I thought that we were rid,
Calamity Opie–Zeke the Kid!
The sheriff knows what fate awaits him.
Three to one, the odds are grim.
The sheriff knows he must be brave,
Or lie a coward in his grave!
He walks into the muddy street,
Extended claws–tall on his feet.
To shade his eyes he moves his hat.
The sheriff’s a big ocicat!
Zeke on left and Opie right,
The Scooby gang’s a fearsome sight!
As they walk their spurs a jingle,
Making all the town-cats tingle!
Trouble comes in threes they say.
The truth in this, we’ll learn today.
Paws cautiously held by each flank,
The gang moves slowly towards the bank.
It’s all just for the takin’ now,
Says Scoob, 10 bags of nip, Meow!
Bags of treats and tuna too!
You guys know just what you must do!
What happened next is in dispute.
Poor Scooby never got the loot.
The muddy street ran red they say,
But Scooby’s gang got clean away!
All you cats take my advice.
Be satisfied with catching mice.
Go find yourself a feline wife,
If you want the purrfect life–
One that never lets you down.
Just don’t take your claws to town.
Don’t take your claws to town.
POSTSCRIPT: Legend has it that the Scooby Gang joined up with Butch and Sundance in Bolivia, and were never seen or heard from again. Their descendants are the peace-loving cats you know today, minding the catio at the Feline Cafe.
Marigold was a steamboat queen,
The purrtiest cat that you’ve ever seen!
With long creamy hair
And those big green eyes,
We’re all in love.
I can tell no lies!
She has a picture in bed,
Hangin’ over the bar.
The sultriest cat in the bay by far.
She runs the gambling tables,
The dice and the wheel,
And it’s not just by chance
That you got a bad deal!
It’s snake eyes you’ll get,
DON’T you know?
Whether Anchorage, Alaska,
or cold Juneau.
She’ll win your money–
Nothing you can do.
Cats, stay away
From her games of sin,
And the green-eyed temptress
Who will lure you in,
With plates of fresh tuna–
Everything is free!
Won’t you sit a while and
Play a little game with me?
Hanging over the bar
Old signature block for Greg
(The featured photo of Marigold with ball and die is from 2013. She is doing quite well at the moment.)
My name is Scoob,
And I am no boob!
I’m a mystery cat.
Who knows where I was at?
Why put me in the shelter?
My life went helter-skelter!
I had problems with my bladder.
It hurt badder, badder, badder!
Til they took me to the vet.
Took all the drugs that I could get.
It only made me worse
And nearly put me in a hearse!
Then other things went wrong–
I wouldn’t last for long.
I heard angels at the door
As I lay on the cage floor.
But they put me in the car,
And drove me not too far,
Where I got expert care
From my new doctors there.
Now I am home
And free to roam,
And play new tricks.
Guess what? I’m six!
Giant Black Halloween Cat in neighborhood
Black Cat Prowl
My fur is black.
My eyes are green.
I prowl outside at night unseen,
On silent paws outside the house
Looking for a juicy mouse!
I see a headlight up the road,
And cross the short grass newly mowed
To crouch beneath a blooming rose
And flex the claws between my toes.
My pupils narrow to a slit
Because the garden’s briefly lit
By auto headlights passing by.
I stop to lick my paws and sigh.
My whiskers give a little twitch.
I rush along the nearby ditch!
I’m hungry now; I must go back
And have a little midnight snack
From the food bowl on the floor
Filled with kibbles from the store
Inside the cat-flap near the door.
I’m home and couldn’t ask for more!
© Feline Café original poem